Each film reviewed is given a score out of ten that reflects the reviewers opinion of the film. However, as this site concentrates on Fantasy films, the scoring system is based more on enjoyability than brilliance of special effects, intricacies of plot or quality of performances. Therefore the scores given here will in no way correspond with reviews given anywhere else. This is a site for people who don't care whether you can see the strings holding the monster up as long as the film itself is a laugh, and if the effects are really that bad, all the better for a giggle!

Enjoyability is measured on a scale of 1 to 10, it is also accompanied by a picture of a medieval weapon. The bigger the weapon, the better the film.

You may find some movies that are given one or even zero star ratings when reviewed in the press actually receive a high score when they are reviewed here. The higher the score the more you and your mates will enjoy watching it on late night TV with a few drinks handy.

The Painful Acting Award goes to those films where the performers truely stretch the definition of the word "acting".

Dubbed films are often the most likely candidate for this honour, the original actors having had their carefully spoken dialogue recorded over by some bloke sitting in a recording booth with a script in one hand and a fag in the other. Other films win the award for hiring performers purely for their looks without bothering to see if they can act. At all.

The Shoestring Budget Award is given to movies that spawn from the marketing idea "If we make a fantasy film all we need is a few people wearing next to no costumes and a couple of halloween masks and we'll be sorted".

As I cannot slap the people who make statements like this I'll have to make do with giving them this award. Really, I've seen better costumes and props in some Live Roleplaying games!

The Plenty of Sauce Award is given to movies that spawn from the marketing idea "If we make a fantasy film all we need is a few people wearing next to no costumes and a couple of halloween masks, and if we throw a few shots of tits and arse in nobody will notice, we'll be sorted".

This honour is generally bestowed on movies with the word "Amazons" in the title. You can guess how disappointed I was when I finally saw "Swallows and Amazons" - what a rip off!

Ah, the Quality Crap Award, the one sure sign of a evening of televisional pleasure! Rooted in the philosophy that a film can be "so bad it's good", any fiilms receiving this honour will have you hitting the rewind button to see scenes again because you won't believe how bad they are the first time around.

Be warned to have a change of underpants at the ready before watching a Quality Crap film as you are likely to piss yourself laughing at the ropey quality of the effects, the stunts or the props, or the film itself.